Sunday, March 1, 2015

Dad, It’s Just ISIS

Chris Spargo of The Daily Mail thinks Saturday Night Live “pushed the envelope” this week with a parody of a car commercial that had a young girl joining ISIS.

I confess that my television viewing habits do not include voluntarily submitting to liberal gibberish.  Several sites, including TMZ, have put up polls for readers to vote on whether they found the skit disgusting or funny.  I watched the video and think it was pitifully unfunny.

There are those who took to Twitter to express their disgust:
The skit, in my opinion, was a weak attempt to mock a president who stated for the record that ISIS was a JV team—a bunch of nobodies—a man who declared to the United Nations days after US Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens was brutally slaughtered in Benghazi by savages who adhere to the filthy heresy of Islam, “The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam.”

During World War II Charlie Chaplin, the Marx Brothers and The Three Stooges mocked Adolph Hitler.

I chose to mock The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer posing him in the above Photoshop™ as he diminished the Office of the President of the United States with a Selfie Stick from the Buzzfeed video that went viral. 

Saturday, February 28, 2015

News Of The Unveiling Of Eric Holder’s Portrait Gets Brushed Aside For THIS?

Milking his departure for all its worth, Eric Holder, America’s longest serving race-baiter attorney general—the man who once called America a nation of cowards—appeared at the unveiling of his portrait where The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer wiped away a tear as he bid his discordant crony goodbye while Americans grieve the passing of our Constitutional Republic.

This nugget would have received far more attention had news not emerged from the Soviet Union Mother Russia that Vladimir Putin’s “fiercest critic”, Boris Nemtsov, was gunned down like a dog in a “politically motivated” “contract killing” in the shadow of the Kremlin as he crossed the Bolshoy Moskvoretsky Bridge which spans the Moskva River just outside St. Basil’s Cathedral in the heart of Moscow. He was shot four times in the back.

Few Russkies own guns so when comrades are murdered, particularly when they are prominent politicians, notable businessmen, or journalists, it is an ordered execution and the assailant is never identified.

Among those who have died this way were journalists Anna Politkovskaya, who was shot in the elevator of her home in 2006, and Paul Klebnikov, who was shot in the back on the street in 2004.

Such murders often go unsolved because of the interwoven nature of criminality and Russian officialdom. In the Politkovskaya case, for instance, it was established that one of the killers was with the FSB, the Russian security agency. But the trail went cold after that; no higher-ups were ever fingered. 

Since 2000, there have been at least 16 journalists murdered in Russia. In not a single case has the person who ordered the killing been arrested and in the majority of cases, the mastermind has been neither identified nor sought.

The FSB is permeated with siloviki loyal to their roots that go back to the Bolsheviks’ first political police known as the Cheka.

All important decisions in Russia are made and carried out by a tiny group of men who served alongside Comrade Colonel Putin in the KGB and who come from his home town of St Petersburg.

It is important to note that the BBC is reporting that Nemtsov was murdered in an area “which is always tightly policed and where security cameras are everywhere you look.”

Putin ordered Russia's top law enforcement chiefs to personally oversee the investigation of Nemtsov's killing.  Putin’s spokesman, Dmitry Peskov, said Putin would take the investigation into Nemtsov’s death under “personal control.”  I think it is safe to conclude that Vlad will make certain that whoever let this get out will be severely dealt with at FSB Headquarters in Lubyanka Square then sent to a reeducation camp and then to a Siberian gulag.  So comrade, don’t forget to bring a warm jacket and a shovel if, that is, you are allowed to live.

Adorable Two-Year-Old Trent Harris Sings The Star Spangled Banner

Friday, February 27, 2015

Do I Need To Learn Morse Code?

This morning I was sipping a delightfully exuberant fusion of hibiscus, orange peel, rose hips and passion fruit flowers in my cup of hot tea regaling in the serenity of an inviting morning of bright sunshine as the last vestiges of snow were melting from the wintery storm we received this week.

Sophie, my little furkid, was peacefully enjoying her breakfast when suddenly there was the impious racket of a jackhammer on the house.  It lasted just a few seconds.  I knew what it was, but Sophie was startled by it and jumped in my lap.  Moments later there was another barrage which further panicked my little girl.

I jumped up and moved toward the window where the sound had emanated and witnessed a red-bellied woodpecker fly into the oak tree at the edge of my property.

Photo courtesy: Gary Hall
I threw on a heavy jacket and my Elmer Fudd hat with flaps to keep my ears warm and walked around the house to see if there was any evidence of holes.  Having been out of town for two weeks, I thought it wise to see if that peckerwood had done any damage during my absence.  Fortunately, I found no signs that Casa de Curmudgeon had been under attack before this morning.

I know that when a woodpecker strikes at your house immediate action should be taken to avoid any damage.  My house is made of brick, but the gables are HardiePlank® Lap Siding, a fiber and cement siding.

Recommendations for visual and sound deterrents can be found there and I decided to hop on the Amazon website to peruse the deterrents that were available.  I nixed the idea of Irri-Tape because I don’t want the house looking like a tacky used car lot.  I read some of the reviews on the sound deterrents.  The reviewers noted that some of the products were loud enough to annoy your neighbors.  While my house sits on an acre of land and doubt the neighbors would be adversely affected, I considered that I might not like hearing the noise.  I finally settled on an owl decoy that will be delivered tomorrow.

I also called my pest control guy and made an appointment for him to do a follow-up spritzing of pesticide on the outside of my house just to be on the safe side since Woody the Woodpecker subsists on insects.  I don’t allow squatters no matter their size, especially bugs.

I know what you’re going to say.  “Hey Curmudgeon, why not just shoot the little dickens like you do those rascally squirrels?”  Yes, I am in a diminutive conflict with General Nehemiah Puffchecks and Oliver Acorn and I slay their bushy-tailed forces with glee, but it seems that all species of woodpeckers are somewhat protected by federal laws and intentionally killing them is illegal.

Finally, I am going to learn Morse Code so I can be a badass like Walt Kowalski in Gran Torino and tell that pecker to “get off my lawn” in a rat-a-tat-tat language he can understand.

--. . - / --- ..-. ..-. / -- -.-- / .-.. .- .-- -.
(Translated:  GET OFF MY LAWN)

Madness Not Confined to March

It's almost that time! Time for Obama to neglect his golf game, vacations and celebrity dinners at the White House, to shoulder the heavy burden of picking college basketball teams! Unfortunately, the Madness is not confined to March!

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Farewell And Godspeed Mr. Spock

To say I am a Star Trek fan would be an understatement.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t fit the Trekkie mold, but I’ve seen every Star Trek movie ever made and sometimes I will binge watch Star Trek The Next Generation on a rainy, gloomy Saturday afternoon.

We learned that Leonard Nimoy, the star singularly identified as Mr. Spock, died today at his home in Bel Air of end-stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.  He was 83.  You can read his obit in The New York Times.

The actor first announced that he was suffering from the illness last year. "I quit smoking 30 yrs ago,” Nimoy tweeted at the time.  “Not soon enough.”

"Smokers, please understand," he continued, "If you quit after you're diagnosed with lung damage it's too late." 

Is it too much to hope for a Genesis Wave to bring back our friend?  May he live long and prosper within our souls. 

I have been and always shall be your fan.

And my favorite tweet:

Thursday, February 26, 2015

John, If Things Are So Peachy, Why The Long Face?

I never tire to resurrecting that question when it comes to John Forbes Kerry.  Ketchup Boy, who testified before the Senate Foreign Affairs Committee on Wednesday, said:
“And frankly—and last thing, this is counterintuitive but it’s true: Our citizens, our world today is actually, despite ISIL, despite the visible killings that you see and how horrific they are, we are actually living in a period of less daily threat to Americans and to people in the world than normally— less deaths, less violent deaths today than through the last century. And so even the concept of state war has changed in many people’s minds, and we’re seeing now more asymmetrical kinds of struggles.”
Utter stupidity has no limits. 

“The Islamic State awaits the army of ‘Rome,’ whose defeat at Dabiq, Syria, will initiate the countdown to the apocalypse,’ wrote Graeme Wood at The Atlantic.

FBI Director James Comey has said his bureau is investigating possible ISIS supporters in all 50 states.

James Clapper, Director of National Intelligence, starkly testified before the Senate Armed Services Committee, “When the final accounting is done, 2014 will have been the most lethal year for global terrorism in the 45 years such data has been compiled.

Here’s the pull quote from The Washington Times:
“If ISIL were to substantially increase the priority it places on attacking the West rather than fighting to maintain and expand territorial control, then the group’s access to radicalized Westerners who have fought in Syria and Iraq would provide a pool of operatives who potentially have access to the United States and other Western countries,” he said. “Since the conflict began in 2011, more than 20,000 foreign fighters—at least 3,400 of whom are Westerners—have gone to Syria from more than 90 countries.”

Monday, February 23, 2015

Friday, February 20, 2015

The Keys To The Liquor Cabinet Are Again In My Hands

Two weeks ago, I hastily emailed co-blogger Proof asking him to take the reins here at Political Clown Parade while I was out of town assisting a dear friend’s recovery from carotid artery surgery (carotid endarterectomy).

I had no idea how long I would be away and trusted Proof to pick up my slack.  He published 13, count ‘em 13, posts on Brian Williams’ lost credibility and nothing for the weekly “Flowing Curves of Beauty” the menfolks have become accustomed to seeing here each Monday. In October 2014 he posted a tongue-in-cheek Curves featuring Star Trek hotties but nothing this time around.  What’s up wid dat?

His reply to my email, which I only got to read this afternoon after unpacking the car and doing laundry, said “…I hope you stocked the liquor cabinet better than last time.  Last time I had to survive an entire week with only domestic champagne!”

I promise we here at Political Clown Parade will post the regularly-scheduled Flowing Curves of Beauty this coming Monday and I thank Proof for picking up my slack while I was away.  I just hope he doesn’t complain about the contents of the liquor cabinet again.

My friend is doing much better and I’m glad to be home where I can sleep in my own bed again.  The liquor cabinet needs to restocked and my stash of chocolate fondue ingredients is severely depleted.  I guess that's a small price to pay for Proof's help during my absence.

Seriously though, Proof did a good job and I thank him for his hard work trying to keep the content coming for our readers.


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