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Monday, December 19, 2011

Impoverished Hermit State Mourns Loss Of Comic Buffoon

Kim Jong Il, the jumpsuit and platform shoe-wearing tyrant died of a heart attack while on a train trip according to state television—that’s the apparatchik to you and me.

Reportedly a diabetic, the little man with a towering ego, amassed a wine cellar with more than 10,000 bottles and greedily scoffed down prodigious amounts of lobster and expensive cognac.

Lobster ranks as one of the most decadent items on a menu and is also known to be high in cholesterolWhat condiment usually accompanies lobster? Butter. Butter is also high in cholesterol, with about 35 mg of cholesterol per tablespoon.  One in four people with diabetes will suffer a heart attack or stroke.

If you drink cognac regularly (around 15 ml a day), it is said to protect you against heart disease.  Perhaps after suffering a stroke in 2008, Il who is now no longer ill, thought his excessive consumption of the stuff would allay another stroke.  Looks like his plan was flawed.

On a serious note, South Koreans are naturally extremely nervous since, despite there being 26,500 US troops in the country; North Korea has thousands of artillery rockets aimed at Seoul which is only 70 miles from the internal border. North Korea is also nuclear armed, the main reason why everyone treats this nightmare of a state so gingerly. The Japanese government will be monitoring the situation closely.  Indeed they will.

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